There’s an old Paul McCartney tune, many of you might remember, that contains the phrase, living in perfect harmony. I know he wasn’t focusing necessarily on marriage when he penned these lyrics, but let’s just go there for a few minutes, shall we?
Would anyone describe your marriage as perfectly harmonious? Would anyone describe Jeff and me as living in perfect harmony? Probably not - the word perfect is hard to obtain, but I believe harmony is something we should strive for. Let’s take a look at four meanings of the word harmony.
1. The combination of simultaneous musical notes...having a pleasing effect - I can’t help but smile as I type this. If there were an unnoticed visitor in the corner of our living room, would he describe our relationship as pleasing?
We all know what beautiful melodious voices sound like. We also know the sound of voices or instruments not on pitch or in tune. It makes us squint our eyes and tilt our head as if in pain!
So, I ask, what face would one make if they heard the real us at home alone?
This Scripture is a tall order for most. But it brings a pleasant, pleasing effect, resulting in everyone enjoying our company as a couple - without the squinting eyes!
2. In agreement - I recently heard an interesting tale about goats. Supposedly, when two goats are head to head on a jagged mountain top with no room to pass, in order to avoid death, one goat will lay down, allowing the other to pass over. This then allows the first goat to stand and continue its journey, neither taking the side-step over the edge of the cliff.
I do not know if this is accurate, but it started my wheels turning. Consider the many times one spouse needs to lay down their desires/rights in order to accommodate the other, allowing their spouse to figuratively, cross over.
Cross over what?
It might be a career move, an illness, needs of his/her parents, a spiritual battle. At times, we need to take a back seat, supporting and championing our spouse through a difficult place, or an exciting achievement.
3. Interweaving - In the combination of simultaneous notes, someone is singing the melody,
while another carries the harmony.
Jeff and I started singing together while dating in college. I have always loved Jeff’s ability to move seamlessly from melody to harmony, and back again. I, on the other hand, am not as seamless. Thankfully, his giftedness spills over, making me sound even better!
That’s what marriage should look like. Couples learn to interweave, moving from the one in need during occasional seasons, to the one providing assistance in other seasons. This happens with little effort. We naturally assist the other, leaving a pleasing effect, as discussed earlier.
Do you recognize this simultaneous movement in your marriage, carrying the burden as needed, as described in Galatians 6:2?
4. A pleasing and consistent whole - Mark 10:8 tells us that the husband and wife will become one flesh. If we can grasp this passage, if we can live striving to become one, our marriages will harmonize. When we fight against our own flesh, we bruise and batter our relationship. Worse, if we choose to divorce, we inflict pain and scarring from the tearing of one flesh.
Consistently one, in a pleasing fashion - what a powerful definition of a Christlike marriage.
Become intentional this week as you interweave with your spouse, lessening the emphasis of me, while increasing the focus of we. Remember the unnoticed guest as you communicate. Focus on supporting and championing one another in your season of life. Pray your marriage will be an example of harmony enjoyed by all.
We love good harmony! How about you?
Seeking the Word,
“Strengthen me according to Your Word.”