Is Life In The Way?
There really is only so much time during the day. One day has 24 hours, 1440 minutes, or 86,400 seconds. We can't change this. It can't be extended or arranged to allow us more time. God gave us the perfect amount of hours, minutes, and seconds to accomplish what we need to do during our day. Since we cannot change it, then really it comes down to better management of our time.
Are we good managers? What about the time we spend talking with our spouse?
We give time to what we think is important. Or as someone told me a long time ago, “We do what we really want to do.” Is our spouse on the top of our to-do list? Or do we manage our day for others.
Communication is and probably always will be the area that needs to be given a healthy section of time in our marriages. In fact, in Let’s Talk, Debbie shares that communication issues affect every area of marriage. So, where do conversations with your spouse fall on your important list?
For me, early in our marriage, carving out time for Debbie and I to sit and talk wasn't really a priority. There were plenty of other things that ranked higher on the list. Work, kids, and TV were given top rating. I didn't realize at the time that God's Word gives us direct instructions as to the importance of communication.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 (ESV) “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Colossians 4:6 Studying these verses give us insight about where our priority needs to be. If you combine the meaning of these two verses with the emphasis on communication, this truth stands out. God molded you together with your spouse, so that you can honor them always with your speech.
Let’s break this down.
Spend table time together - Communication happens when we’re together. Make time to sit with each other at breakfast, lunch, or dinner. This creates a good time to reflect and talk together. Making the choice to spend time talking with your spouse will grow your relationship as you sincerely focus on each other. I like the verses below. They give insight as to how we should respond to each other. As you talk together, let this verse be your guide.
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:2-3 (NIV)
Date nights - I mentioned how much time we have in a day. Each week is made up of those days. Put in your schedule a date night for you and your spouse. It doesn't have to be big, it just has to be.
But men, giving your wives your full attention can make all the difference. Debbie
notices if I’m not paying attention. It’s important to her. For instance, if you are at a restaurant and a TV is in your direct line of sight, ask your wife to switch with you. I promise the night will go a lot better.
Bible time - The key to your marriage really flourishing is to spend time in the Word together. Plan a time in your week to get with your spouse. Read a passage of scripture together, discuss what you observed and how you can apply it to your lives, then pray together. God will bless you.
Remember that first date.? You and your future spouse had a great time. I bet you had a lot to talk about. You kept the night interesting and made sure the conversation didn’t become stagnant. Do you still? Or has life gotten in the way? It will if we let it. So, pay attention to your conversations. We have to be intentional.
Seeking the Word,
Jeff
