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Have you checked your bags?

Updated: Oct 27, 2019


"That’s what baggage does. It goes everywhere we go, ready to be revealed at just the right or wrong moment." Jeff



Have You Checked Your Bags?


One event that makes my heart beat fast and has all my senses on alert is the airport

TSA line.


When we fly I’m anxious from the moment we walk into the airport, go through ticketing, check our bags, and head to the dreaded security line. Not that there is a problem with any of it. I check and double check my bags. I know what’s allowed and what’s not. It

is not that I have a fear that something will go wrong. I just want, no, I need to get

through the process of my bag and I getting scanned, in order to make it to the point

when I can breathe and put my shoes back on. Now I can walk to the appropriate gate.

I’m ok and my bag is right there.



Why does it matter? From the time I get out of my vehicle, my bag is with me. I’m

pulling it behind me through the parking garage, through security, all the way to the

storage bin above my seat on the plane. It will still be behind me as I exit and arrive at

my destination.



That’s what baggage does. It goes everywhere we go, ready to be revealed at just the

right or wrong moment. It’s the same in our marriages. We carry the baggage of our

past with us. It is there when we are dating and when we say our wedding vows. And it is

with us as we enter into this exciting thing called marriage.


Baggage can take on many forms. It can hold hurt feelings of family relations. Unmet

expectations from past relationships can be packed away in our baggage. Past sexual

experiences, anger, emotional abuse, divorce, biological or relational family traits, even

a medical condition can qualify as something carried deep inside those bags right into

marriage.


Any form of this baggage can appear as the new couple begins to learn one another.

Why weren’t the bags opened when we were dating? At that time you probably were

not digging too deep into the past of your partner. We usually want to keep our past

hidden and hope it never comes up. But once we are married, it will naturally produce

stress in the relationship as the couple begins to really learn about each other. This

leads to opened bags. The contents, if not handled properly, can lead to arguments,

communication breakdown, and can destroy unity in your marriage without you as a

couple realizing why.


How do I know? Without knowing, I too brought baggage into our marriage. I never

realized I reacted the way I did to Debbie and our kids until this one particular day.

Debbie and I were having a conversation and the subject came up. I remember sitting

on the couch. It was a revelation. Our talk revealed that I had responded to my own

family as I had witnessed as a child. Some might say it’s a hereditary trait. Mine was

probably a learned behavior.


Let me ask you - how full are your bags? We all bring baggage into our marriage. Are

there issues the two of you need to talk about? The one you said, “I do” to needs and

wants to understand what you are going through.


So talk.


Set up a time with your spouse today to sit down and explain your baggage. But before you do, read Debbie’s post, Baggage Removal to learn how to safely unpack those bags.



“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but

shows favor to the humble.’” James 4:6 (NIV)



It might not be easy, but I bet they’ll listen and possibly see what has been a block in

your marriage, keeping it from thriving. Hopefully, your spouse will recognize the

baggage they carried in as well. Debbie did. It was a healing conversation for both of

us. We trusted God to be our strength as we walked through difficult areas of our

marriage.



Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your

ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6


This opened baggage is an area for you both to address as you pray together.

Remember, when we give our issues to Jesus, the enemy has no further power. As you

strive to become “one” your marriage will grow stronger.





Seeking the Word,

Jeff


“Strengthen me according to Your Word.”

Psalm 119:28b

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